More like the IMpatient.

*SPOYLARZ* (Maybe not. I dunno. I’m just covering my ass. You might be a Thinskin.)

I didn’t like this game.  I thought about it and despite it starting off with such promise, the middle and ending(s) are garbage.

In the beginning…

It starts off very well.  The general pacing is great.  We are introduced to characters gradually and shown the controls of the game while getting a tour of the hospital leading up to our room.  You can also pick your own gender and skin color but, I’m not exactly sure how much of a difference it makes overall.

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Once you arrive in your room… get ready to stay there.  Oh you’ll walk around really slowly in a dream-state but you will not actually spend any time outside of your cell for a while.  . . Hang on.  I am so bored. Writing about this game is boring.  Anyways…

You have a cellmate named…. Dick? Richard? Gordon? Steve? Jeff?… Let’s go with Doug.  So Doug seems fine but slowly starts becoming unhinged.  Your interactions with him determine …. something something….

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Look… I’ll level with you.  Your first two runs of the game might feel like something decent happened but upon further inspection, you will notice the Emperor is naked and that your shoelace isn’t untied because you’re wearing Loafers.  I don’t know what I’m saying… I’m trying to fill time.

I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that you’ll run through the game once and do it again hoping for something decent but you’ll be left with “That’s it?”  You’ll have spent more time walking around (in slow motion) hoping something will happen than you will walking in slow motion with something happening.

This is a horror game where very little horrific things actually take place.  The scariest parts are all dream sequences without any way to fail.  There’s one encounter with one of those evil spirits but that’s as intense as it gets.

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The choices are arbitrary and carry very little emotional weight.  Characters live or die without much rhyme or reason so don’t overthink your choices.  That’s all this game really is… exposition and walking slowly through an environment that would be scary if there was any threat at all.

There is no combat, moving is purely to change the scenery.  You’re hunting dialog and listening to NPCs talk the whole time.  This isn’t so much a game as it is an interactive movie.  Even as an interactive movie.. there are chunks missing.  I was locked up, now I’m not, now I’m free…. there is no resistance in any of these steps.  The scares didn’t come from fear.  If you drop a baking sheet in the dark, you might be a little startled but that in itself isn’t going to kill you.

I should say something nice. The game starts with a lot of promise and interacting with the scenery is fun until you realize nothing much is going to happen.  It’s mostly choose your own adventure with very little actual game mechanics other than looking for objects to trigger your memory.

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I have to say skip it until it reaches $10-$15 … Re-brand it as a PSVR Experience or something.  Take the emphasis off it being a “horror game”.

I’m sorry if anybody is disappointed.  I normally don’t like to crap on games.  I really don’t.  But I really don’t care about The Inpatient.  My ADD took over and my eyes glazed over several times even writing this.  I strongly suggest you wait until the price drops significantly if not skip it entirely.

The Jaded Gamer

 

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