This is not an article about The Division.  OK. Maybe a little.

This is a plea to every developer and publisher on the planet of Earth to delay their games launching within 13 months and six days of The Division. Yes, this also works retroactively.  Please recall all your currently released properties back into the Ether. Ubisoft, we’re good on FarCry Primal. That is fine. But Hitman, you’re a stupid episodic game now and I have a whole pocket full of fucks that you can’t have until you’re a complete boxed copy. Pity.  I’m not a “just the tip” kinda guy, Hitman. I want the whole sausage.  Wait… I’ll give YOU the whole sausage… No, Wait…  I want the whole game at once.  Let’s move on.

I’m glad Mirror’s Edge Catalyst and Uncharted 4 got pushed.  I want to enjoy those games. But Quantum Break and Dark Souls III will sit on a shelf somewhere for me to unwrap and play somewhere in the year 2018 because I will have most likely backlogged them and forgotten they existed. Those games comes out in APRIL.

I just don’t care.

I will be parked and squatted on The Division.  I will be your hero.  I will back you up and escort you though those Dark Zones.  I will never betray you! I’ll help you through the wasted city and assist you in hunting for scraps.  I got you!

I was going to buy the Heavy Rain remaster but, Fuck that! I got five kids to feed.  OK. Maybe not.  But still, video games are expensive over here. If I’m going to drop almost $90 (THAT’S CRACK PRICES) on one game, it better be one of the most original ideas I’ve heard in years, The Division.

I don’t really even know much about The Division other than what I need to. Cooperative, open world, action-RPG.  It’s the closest thing I’ve got to a multiplayer Fallout right now and you cannot take that away from me.

As for you… are there games you’d rather be playing over The Division? Maybe you really wanted Uncharted 4 or Mirror’s Edge Catalyst.  I did too.  I did too. But they would collect dust and get faded in the sun because it is The Division that I crave.

What say you?

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