I don’t mess with no EB Games

I used to shop at EB Games/Gamestop all the time. Back then, it was always a hike usually involving some form of public transportation I’d ride briefly. It was always an occasion punctuated by me taking the day off to play my new treasure.

I didn’t loiter around EB but I’d let my eyes wander as I browsed. I’d try and get the hot EB clerk’s gamertag and managed to sweet talk one … but only one. Keep chasing that dragon, man!

I met cool people, had great conversations about games and had a headquarters of sorts. These EB people were almost like friends. When I saw a former EB clerk working somewhere else, we recognized each other and talked games for a bit before parting ways. EB built the same relationships I’d have with a coworker or at least somebody from a church group or an organized sport. If you came out on launch days, you would see the same crowds from the previous big launch; we all knew each other.

That whole scene is dead or dying now that games are a bigger spectacle. Gamers are enticed in and herded in, around the register and back out again. Thanks for coming.

The people that hang around the GameStop are now the weirdos who do nothing but play games like a personified stereotype and only to chat up/harass the clerks until a customer picks the “wrong game” to play.  After talking to an employee recently it seems every EB has “That guy” because when employees from multiple locations gather, they all talk about their weirdo.  Thanks for coming.

I said “Forget that!” and I switched to Best Buy. As you know, I picked up a PS4…

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I bought it from Best Buy. I didn’t walk in, browse and fetch the item myself like a dirty commoner either.  What if I walked in and they were sold out? That would have been a huge waste of time. That’s shopping for your old man, man. Welcome to 2015 shopping.  I’m not stepping foot inside a Best Buy unless dollars are getting spent. So what did I do? I reserved it… Like a boss. I didn’t even have to interface with a faceless voice on the other side of a phone. I went to the website (on my phone while walking towards Best Buy), reserved the PS4 and GTA V and within moments my confirmation E-mail had arrived. Since I was close, I popped in to collect my order. I had materialized so fast before their eyes they hadn’t even finished fetching my order.  I picture the elves over at Best Buy staring at a dot matrix printer in anticipation. They are all bored. One yawns while another plays paddle ball as she leans on her hand. When suddenly the printer comes to life… So do they. Then the rhythmic mechanical percussion of the Best Buy “Order Finder 9000” comes alive. The elves start singing and dancing as they slide my order along the assembly line. But before they know it a great sadness has befallen them. My order is complete and they must all circle the printer in the hopes of another hero reserving an item. They don’t have to wait long…
*cue Lemmings music.*

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Jaded has another order on deck…

So treat yourself like the VIP gamer you are and don’t just use pre-orders to reserve your games. Reserve all of them because you’re worth it.

Twitter: @IamFN2K
Iamfn2k@gmail.com

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