My Stance on Nintendo is not YMB’s

DISCLAIMER: I want to make it clear that anything I have to say about Nintendo is my opinion and should not reflect this website’s ethics or contribute to any perceived bias.  Secondly, I wanted the Wii-U to succeed like the Wii did before it.  Wii-U selling well means a last generation hangover.  Developers could easily port their games from Wii-U to PS3/Xbox 360.  They would be stupid not to.

I don’t really talk about Nintendo a whole lot and I realize that a portion of the demographic is probably disheartened by this fact.  I don’t force myself to report on Nintendo news because it would seem strained.  The fact is I just don’t care about Nintendo.  They are not on my radar for anything other than Bayonetta 2.  That was an awesome exclusive most of Game Nation clearly was not moved to get a Wii-U to play.  Get ready for Bayonetta 2 to be repurposed and repackaged, by the way.  Nintendo has got to make ends meet on that venture.  I digress! I am not compelled to like anything about Nintendo.  They just do not interest me at all.

90% or more of the games I play are rated M.  When I was a child, I spoke as a child and I reasoned as a child but when I became a man I put away childish things.  I understand these games are fun and that’s fine but all I had for about fifteen years of Nintendo was “fun”.  Fun. Everything is fun.  I am bored of fun.  I want to be coiled in soul crushing emotional agony in a post apocalyptic warzone inhabited by the things that give Stephen King nightmares.  I’m through with bright colors and carnival music as I use the jump mechanic mixed with various power ups to go from Point A to Point B.  I’m drifting at 200 mph in my opponents draft as I outrun the police and you want me to jump in a go kart?  Forget capturing and training tiny monsters, I’m scaling and dominating giant ones with nothing but a sword and a bow.

The games do not interest me. You know what? That’s OK. I’m not their demographic anymore.  While that is unfortunate, the situation could be remedied with better third party titles.  But Nintendo has shitty relationships with everybody that is not Nintendo. I have nothing to back up that claim but it feels true.  Third party developers bold enough to develop for a Nintendo console always face Nintendo trying to outsell them.  Ubisoft used to support the Wii-U by putting out what I consider to be the ultimate versions of Assassin’s Creed III & IV because of the added function of the Wii-U controller clearing up some of the clutter the HUD leaves on the screen. Nintendo did very little, if anything, to highlight these games in their catalog.  Mass Effect 3 happened on the Wii.  These are giant games which were not supported very well by Nintendo but we generally highlighted as showpieces for the previous generation of hardware.   Nintendo hardware was made to push Nintendo games and any third party giant will get crushed.

Finally, Nintendo expects their fans to buy whatever they produce.  Yes… “expects”.  Recently Nintendo released a newer new 3DS and included this juicy bit of logic to explain why there is no adapter included in the package.

Nintendo to IGN: “New Nintendo 3DS XL uses the same AC adapter as any Nintendo 3DS or Nintendo DSi system. Rather than raise the cost of New Nintendo 3DS XL by charging consumers for a component they may already own, we are giving them the option to only buy if they need an AC adapter.”

Imagine not getting an HDMI cable with your console because you obviously already own one… except if you don’t.  Nintendo went from including batteries with their handhelds to .. not… because batteries are sold everywhere, to making them rechargable, to not including the thing that lets you recharge them because not only do they expect you to buy it, they expect that you already bought one of their products with the adaptor.

Nintendo needs to be on the list of registered sex offenders.

So why am I not really into Nintendo? Honestly, I can’t afford it.  Between buying their redundant products, to playing their beloved and unappealing (to me) franchises, buying add-ons and amiibos and frankensticks… it costs me just as much to play these games properly as it does to buy them.  It is ridiculous.

But their games don’t ship broken do they? That has to count for something.

The Jaded Gamer.


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