UPDATE – 27/12/2014 – Somebody asked me about Square-Enix

Is Anybody Else Finished with Square-Enix?

I saw that Square-Enix is releasing the PC re-release of Final Fantasy VII for PS4.  Google it if you care. I am not providing a link. I don’t want you to waste your time.  This is the last Square-Enix thing you are going to read… for a year! Are you with me?  It is OK if you are not.  I’m not entirely sure myself.  What I do know is that the “Square” in Square-Enix are giant sacks of baby dicks. I’m starting to believe they absolutely hate their fans.  They know beyond any shadow of a doubt that Final Fantasy 7 is their go-to title to pull them out of the red and back in black.

Square-Enix has two unwritten rules.
1. Avoid talking about Chrono Trigger
2. Avoid actually remaking Final Fantasy VII

My theory is they will hit everything but Final Fantasy 7 for as long as possible.  They’ve already updated FF1 through FF6 and HD-fied FF10/X-2 twice! so I think they are going FF10, FF9 and FF8.  But they wont be in succession. FF9 will be remade the way you hope FF7 will be remade in all its glory.  Then they will decide that FF9 needs an FFIX-2 and some FFIX spinoff.  Then as this generation comes to a close, FF8 remake. No FFVIII-2 because we don’t have time for that.  Now, sit in hell as Square-Enix juggles Final Fantasy 1-6,8-10, 12, 13, 15 and every spin-off they can muster.  Final Fantasy XIII: Complete Edition.  Every game, remastered into more HD-er with DLC. Get ready.  Final Fantasy Classics. Final Fantasy 8 and 9…. Better resolution but graphically untouched! Final Fantasy History: Origins.  This will be a DS game consisting of Final Fantasy 1 2 and 3.  Then FFH:16bit.  This will be FF4-6 on DS or Vita.

I know that theory was stupid and convoluted but this is not outside their business model.  I was mainly sticking to the Final Fantasy franchise but there will be deflection with other series to buy them time.  Remember Threads of Fate? Hey, you just might refamiliarize yourself with it when that Final Fantasy well runs dry.

Though it is not all bad.  Through their frantic juggling, some good may come out of it.  Those who hoped their favorite non-Final Fantasy series might get revisited, there is a shot because they will run out of Final Fantasy games and they will need to produce some more original content. Whether or not the new content will be Final Fantasy XVI, I am not sure but I do know that nothing I wrote earlier would be ill received by gamers if Square-Enix didn’t keep fucking with us.  This last “reveal” was too much.  Look at this shit…


I want to go back in time with current technology and science so I could have more time to kickstart the creation of a retroactive abortion pill so I could get one made for the moments Square-Enix pulls this. . . I don’t know the logistics of how a retroactive abortion pill would work or what was going on in your head but I was talking about force feeding somebody’s mother a pill and having their spawn drop dead.  Because science and you gotta believe.  There is no room on the frontier of science for non-believers.

Where was I?… Square of Square-Enix.  Non-stop-shit-show.  Night and day, 24/7, wall-to-wall showing of nothing but the toppest of quality  shit shows.  A Fecophiliac’s warmest dream!

The Jaded Gamer (@IamFN2K)