Shipping broken games should be illegal

If your mail order Russian bride arrives dead, you probably don’t have to pay for her.

Most places you purchase material goods from have a return policy and even if they do not, most laws or by-laws prohibit the seller from lying about or selling fraudulent items.  Simply put, if the product is meant to be used, it works properly with little to no risk of injury.  If the product is meant to be viewed or heard, then you should be able to do so without any problems.

So, how the hell is it possible in this day and age that developers can ship games that are absolute clusterfucks and spend the next few days, weeks, months even years patching this shit out of existence.

I WILL TELL YOU! WE ARE IDIOTS!

Battlefield 4 apparently shipped in some state of “broken” but Battlefield: Hardline will inevitably sell out and I hope you can’t even get past the start screen you dumb sacks of dick.

I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean that.  You don’t deserve my rage.  It is not your fault you remain optimistic that developers will ship the product you love.  You always hope for the best, such is the way of the gamer.  I understand that game development is an ever changing process that only gets more magical with every layer you peel off the onion, but, holy shit developers are fucking up.

Rockstar had an entire month to stress test the shit out of GTA Online but why pay an inhouse staff to do it? That money cuts into GTA V’s profit margin.  Get Game Nation to be your beta testers.  Sure they will whine, bitch and even threaten you with death for weeks or even months but they wont stop playing your busted ass game.  How do I know that? Because GTA V is on next-gen consoles and people are buying it, that’s how.

SimCity barely worked at launch.  Most developers delay games now to avoid shipping a busted game.  EA clearly decided to ship it busted and crunch out a patch ASAP because they need that billion dollar quarterly earning.

And that, my friends, I believe is the true root of the problem of shipping a busted product.  Prior to last gen, you absolutely had to make sure your console game was damn near perfect.  Now you can patch it out.  The gaming industry was worth less than a billion dollars not too long ago and now one game can generate over a billion dollars before anybody realizes it is broken.

So now you have a broken game, what do you do? Take it back to the store?  OK. So you do.  The developer still doesn’t really lose money and the retailer will probably flip it as a used game or pretend that copy was always the “display copy” so they can charge the full sticker price on a used game. . . . which leads me to digress about this whole “display copy” tragedy.

I’ve bought floor models of electronics and because the retailer broke the seal on the box, I get that product at a discount.  At a Blockbuster, I bought the last copy of Silent Hill on DVD they had. All they had was the copy they were playing on mute.  The clerk, removed it from the DVD player, put it in the case, slapped a sticker on it and gave me almost 10 dollars off the full price. Why? because they broke the seal.  Not your game retailer, though. They’ll still charge you full price because “It is new.  It’s just a display copy.”  No!, mother fucker! It’s not.  It’s a used copy! Those games you have in that case behind you with the cover facing outward, THOSE are display copies and I know the game is still in those cases.  I’m sorry, I’m sorry.  I’ve digressed!

STOP RELEASING BUSTED GAMES!!!!

I can’t say.. “STOP BUYING THEM” because we have no idea they are screwed up until we get home and see there is a day one patch ready to go.

Good Luck and Game On!

The Jaded Gamer (IamFN2K@gmail.com)
(IamFN2K  on Twitter/Everything)

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