5 Favorite Offline Games

Destiny can be played alone but still requires the internet. I don’t have the privilege of the internet right now, but through the magic of modern science, I can use this magic telecommunication device to make pleasing words for your face. Good, yes?

So, since I cannot play Destiny, I’ve been looking for games to soothe my restless thumbs.

Please understand I created this entire post through my phone. This is witchcraft to me at this point.


5. Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition

Lara Croft is a staple video game icon. I’ve been told this reboot strays from its puzzle roots but I don’t mind it at all.  I enjoy traipsing through the wilderness and stalking bad guys with a bow and arrow.  Lara didn’t realize it but she was actually channeling John Rambo. She even rises out of a pool of blood. How disgustingly bad ass is that?


4. Farcry 3
This game has a great beginning, a strong middle and a lackluster ending. However the journey is loooooooong so almost any ending is welcome by the time you hit it. Hunting animals and making your own medicine by harvesting plants adds a pretty intense sense of vulnerability.  Upgrading your gear is more complex than spending money… You will have to hunt the right animal for the right skin or pelt. Finally… You must unleash your tattau .. Or something. There’s an acid trip in the middle of the game. Twice I think.


3. Assassin’s Creed
All hail Jade Raymond, Mother of Assassin’s Creed, all praise be to her…


… as she smiles unto thee.
Aside from having an incredible producer, this is one heck of a franchise to jump into. Many people believe the series came together in Assassin’s Creed 2, but nothing beats the first game when Altair arrives and looks over the vista down to the first city. It was the moment you knew next-gen had arrived.  The more Assassin’s Creed ages, the more engaging and absurd the plot becomes. There are several tales being woven together and to put out a game of this caliber year after year is impressive enough.  Kudos to Ubisoft.  There are enough activities to burn hours offline.


2. Bioware.
I couldn’t decide which game to go with. Knights of the old republic is becoming dated but it is still classic. Dragon Age is awesome. People didn’t react well to Dragon Age 2 but… Damn it, I like it.  Not to mention Mass Effect. Bioware makes games you can sink your thumbs deep into for an entire afternoon and she won’t complain to her parents that you’re the reason she’s walking funny. Bioware is just real cool, is all I mean.


1. Bethesda
Another problem. Bethesda just makes solid games you can start a 2nd life in. Picking between the Elder Scrolls and Fallout is too hard of a choice. All four last generation games still get heavily favored over newer titles like The Last of Us, which is solid on its own.

Honorable Mention:
Metal Gear Solid HD:
Kojima’s stealth action game is wildly entertaining and not afraid to be completely off the wall.

Silent Hill:
Good for going offline during the night or early morning. Everything is quiet and you can hear every creek of the house. Every scare is amplified. Nobody on the internet will hear you scream.

So there you have it.

The Jaded Gamer (Offline)


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