#003: Crisis Management for Jaded

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Current crush: Bethenny Frankel
Reason: This

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Made her blush. Social media can be amazing. Is she still talking about the day Jaded tweeted at her? Probably not. But for a moment, a split second, I made an impact on her day. So my day started pretty good and ended pretty good.

I did some G-14 classified stuff up at Ubisoft Toronto and afterwards the Creative Director intercepted a tweet I sent to the company account. He basically said he wished he knew I was there so he could say hi. . . A little bit of a shot in the arm. Now I just gotta put in some real life work.

So I looked to what I do best. Jaded and making people mad. I immediately took to my Twitter and Facebook pages to throw spitballs. Then it started to feel cruel. I guess there really wasn’t anything going on. Everybody started obsessing over the Kim Kardashian mobile app. Maybe my initial reaction to it was a little dramatic.

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But if you follow me on Twitter or swing by my Facebook page, you know that I make statements and I’m a cartoon. The problem is people that know me talk to me on Twitter about some real shit. So I had a colleague jump into this Twitter thread defending Kim Kardashian the person over this game… Which I deem to be hell. Why is it hell? 1) It’s the third game in a series that obviously never took off until Kardashian branded it. Hell. 2) Somebody called it the most progressive game of the summer. Hell! 3) Every dating sim you know will now come branded and choked by micro-transactions because some shitty Sim is crushing it.

But let’s get back to most progressive game of the summer. I submit to you my one word defense of “REALLY?

Then the big fuss over GaymerX2 not being able to get funding due to shenanigans. I’m happy the shenanigans have been resolved but funding concerns remain. But that’s a whole other rant the world wasn’t ready for. So..  I kinda went silent. I had a bit of a breakdown wondering if maybe I was poking fun at the wrong issues. Then I’d come back to the same point. I AM THROWING SPITBALLS AT COOL KIDS!  I’m not meant to be taken seriously. Have we as a global community shunned the class clown? Why is it we can laugh at anything other than a glimpse of ourselves? I’m just some nerd creating chaos on behalf of gamers and believe it or not there are people that appreciate my attempts to defend Game Nation behind a layer of entertainment.

I’m on your side. I met some of the hardest of the hardcore gamers during my Black ops Mission at Ubisoft… And y’all seem real cool. But introverted as hell. I gave out my Gamertag and nobody hit me up for co-op. Apparently I’m annoying. Apparently my personality is intimidating. Apparently I’m too loud. Sometimes I’m too blunt. That’s part of the magic baby. Just handcuff yourself to my wrist and hang on.
So, needless to say I felt pretty rejected from Game Nation. In some ways I feel like I don’t fit in. We’ve been through this but my greatest hits include Never played through a Zelda game, Never played Metroid. Not into Call of Duty or Halo and I don’t back one console over another. These are my dirty secrets as a gamer.

I was ready to take off the 1up shirt. I was ready to give Jaded up for good. But then as I was typing out my brilliant resignation to the universe and I saw Chris Plante’s suicide note over at Polygon. I’m sorry. That was a little harsh. But on behalf of Game Nation we want an apology or a resignation. Matter of fact pass your Gamer Card to the front of the class because you’re dismissed. We’re taking expulsion. I banish you… You are banished. . . Don’t even look at Crecente! Crecente can’t save you!

AND JUST LIKE THAT, I’M BACK!

TheJadedGamer
@IamFN2K

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