What’s this? Snow? Lights? Stampedes? Suicides? It must be CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!! Why one day is celebrated for a season, I don’t know but I don’t care! Like most people, I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. For the record, I’m agnostic so the whole celebrating Jesus isn’t the reason why I love it. I mostly celebrate Santa, shiny things, commercialism and food which makes me the perfect candidate for the Christmas sucker.
What I love most about Christmas: the lights. It sounds super lame and small minded (hello!) but nothing makes me feel more bright inside than seeing twinkle lights along a frosty window. There’s something so calming about it that helps you forget you’re surrounded by people crying over getting a 2% latte than the non-fat they asked for. Besides lights, I also love the family time. I know family time scares a lot of people around the holidays, but there are some family members I like seeing and for some reason the only time to see them is around Christmas… strange… it’s nice though that we are forced to see each other at least once a year or else who knows when you’ll see them next.
Things that blow about Christmas is the obvious stuff. The stress that it brings! Christmas arrives and then sucks out your hopes and dreams with cold bitter anger and then you wonder why you’re pushing a small child out of your way to get to a store before it closes and telling a Grandma to “shove it” while going insane listening to the same Christmas carols over and over in ever store, mall and restaurant! MAKE THE MADNESS END!!!!! Ahem… too much?
The stress of getting presents shouldn’t be stressful. I enjoy getting gifts for people (when I have the money) because it gives you that time to stop and think about the person and what they would appreciate. I am noticing that there are less people at the mall – THANK GOD for online shopping! One thing I do want to say to parents; when it comes to getting gifts for your kids, keep their expectations low. I keep hearing from stressed parents, “what am I going to tell my kid if they’re sold out?! My kid HAS to have it!” My God, get a hold of yourself man! First off, they won’t think Santa doesn’t like them because he didn’t get them a Wii. You need to tell your kids that Santa is focusing on the kids in Africa who don’t have fresh water. Guilt those spoiled fuckers into knowing that they have it good and Santa doesn’t need to bring them shit! Expect one gift kid and be glad you have running water, food in your stomach and a warm bed to sleep in you little twerp. Then, when they see they have an abundance of gifts on Christmas day, you best believe it will be tears of happiness streaming down their cute little faces. It will be a Christmas miracle!!! You’re welcome…
It all doesn’t matter anyways. The good, the bad and the perverted Santa is only around once every year so try to find the best way to cope with it. The main theme is to bring happiness around you and be with the people you love. You can’t go wrong with that right? Except I will have to choke a bitch if they eat my turkey leg.