The "R" word

     The word that has many people running for the hills… Relationship. I’m not writing this because I’m a woman and I’m on my period (which is actually the case), I’m writing this article because I find the whole thing fascinating. Every person is unique and ‘special’ in their own way (that’s what my teachers and my mommy told me anyway), so why do we find it sooo mind blowing that relationships, for the most part, are hard and GOOD relationships are rare? It’s supposed to be hard or everyone would be in a happy relationship. Also, no matter how awesome you are, you also have faults that another person has to put up with and vica versa, so DUH it’s not going to come easy!
     If you want an idea of where I’m coming from, I’m in my mid twenties and I’m currently in a loving relationship and have been for almost five years. To many adults under 30 that sounds impressive, to anyone else that means dick. Five years is nothing compared to the rest….of….my….life….. I have no idea what I’m getting myself into but I’m excited to find out because the man I’m with makes me happy. Simple.
     The thing that sucks most about relationships is of course finding that “one” person. Having to find that one in seven billion person that is on the same page as you, treats you the way you wanted to be treated, takes you for who you are and who you’re not, makes you laugh and is also your best friend. Yeaaahhhh…. it’s hard. It doesn’t have to be. It’s that bitch we all know; the law of attraction. If you keep finding yourself getting stuck in the same rut well guess what… the only common denominator here is you, so check yourself before you wreck yourself.
     Also, why does the word “relationship” scare people? Is it commitment? It is possible to have fun and freedom and be committed to someone. I know people can change once you label things but you can always talk through that. People change ALL the time. We go through our ups and downs and trying to figure out what we want, who we are, it’s exhausting! The last thing you need is the person YOU’RE committed to telling you, “yeaaahh commitment freaks me out…”. Yeaaahhh commitment freaks need a therapist because I really don’t get it. You’re completely happy exactly the way it is, but once that one word pops up, it changes everything. When in reality, the commitment-fob is the one that changed. Nice.
     I can’t tell you the secret to a happy relationship because I don’t feel like I’m an expert, but I can tell you what’s worked for me so far…
1) People tell you who they are as soon as you meet them. Listen carefully.
2) Know your value and acknowledge your flaws. You’ll learn very soon how many flaws you have once you get into a relationship so cut that cocky shit out. Good that you love yourself, but arrogance is really annoying. Probably just as annoying as low self-esteem. Like I said, check yourself before you wreck yourself. 
3) Know specifically what you want and what you don’t want.
4) Communication is key. That doesn’t mean talking, it mostly means listening (mind=blown!)
5) Have fun! Relationships are supposed to be fun! If the person is NOT enhancing your life, move on.

There you go! God speed and good luck to you.

❤ Tarangela

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