Games and relationships part II

The first part of this entry got me in hot water from the Mrs.  Though I’m willing to bet that most gamers understood the point which was she still acts like the typical gamer’s girlfriend sometimes regardless of how well we get along.

She was convinced I made her look like a bitch or that gamers would think she was a bitch. Let me reassure you she is most definitely NOT a bitch.  Honey can I get some yet? No?

Ok while she calms down a bit longer let me explain to you how good I have it.

When Dead Island came out I tore through it like a 12 inch through a hyman (and twice as bloody). I sat on my ass for 5 days and played it. Not 24/7 mind you. I have a job, but needless to say she didn’t complain once. Forget Dead Island, she has never ever complained about my gaming habits.   The closest thing I heard to a complaint was that once she felt sad that I chose to play a game instead of watching her change. (It’s a nightly ritual. She is really attractive.)

I digress to remind male gamers of something. Since you are a gamer, chances are you were a bit of a nerd and maybe unlucky with the opposite sex in your younger years. If you do have a girlfriend try to remember what it was like before you did. What I’m trying to say is she has boobs. Real boobs. Live and in your face boobies. Remember you used to kill to see some boobosity? Now you just sit in front of the tv night after night while she unleashes the twins. That is so lame. Sure the ladies in games have gotten better rendered but it is no replacement for the real deal. It also doesn’t hurt that my girlfriend is built like Bayonetta. And yes she has a sister thats pretty cute too but unless you are a man’s man you need not apply.

Anyways. Back to my GF being awesome.  She isn’t a gamer at all but she tried. She played Fallout 3 all by herself but dropped the twin sticks because she still finds first person control and combat difficult. So her and I played Fable II a few times and when my game is built in Little Big Planet 2, I know she will play. Also Mod Nation Racers got a bunch of play. For somebody that doesn’t play games she  puts up the effort to try purely to make me happy. She even cameos on my show.  Beyond that, her hotness has become one of the gimmicks the show thrives off of.

I objectify her beauty and she lets me exploit it for the purpose of my show. It does help that she is in on the joke but she is well aware of the fact that I’m using her looks and charm to get my product out there. She understands it because (dont jizz, gamers) she was a booth babe for Quake 4.   Oooh. Behind the scenes info. Originally I wanted both my girlfriend and her sister to be the hotties  on the show because her sister is (how do I say this without creeping out my future in law)  a curvy voluptuous lady with a bit of a gothic or hard rock kind of flair. Whereas my girlfriend looks sweet and angelic. Kinda like Two-Face’s ladies from Batman Forever. I thought the imagery would look really good on screen.  But anyone that knows me knows I have difficulty rationalizing a “good” reason to exploit a woman’s looks/body.  So I figured the way I do it now was the least objectionable way to capitalize on a pretty girl.

But aside from being gorgeous, she supports my gaming now more than ever. Shes watched as I went from an absolute nobody to an obscure somebody to whatever I’m becoming now thanks to my love of games. She doesn’t support it because it’s been bringing me some attention, she does it because it makes me happy.

The best thing about her as it relates to gaming is her uncanny ability to get me to stop playing games. I’m not telling how though. I’ve given you enough spank bank imagery.

Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer

Twitter: @IamFN2K


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