If there is something I know well it’s being in a relationship with non-gamer girls.
In an upcoming episode of The Jaded Gamer’s show I talk about co-existing in a functional relationship and keeping the woman in your life off your back. I recommend any gamer in a relationship check it out.
Make no mistake though. I deliberately undersold the amount of work and effort needed to make it work. I have to because if gamers knew the truth they might pass up the right person when they come along.
Let me put it like this. I own almost 200 current gen games between Ps3, 360 and PsP. I invest between 20 and 40 hours a week on games. I only sleep between 3 to 5 hours a night which inevitably leads to exhaustion. The last fit of exhaustion damn near crippled me. My legs would go numb at random. I couldn’t think, didn’t eat and didn’t care about anything or anyone not even myself except for my next gaming session.
I don’t have to live this way, I choose to. It keeps me happy and my girlfriend too so I’m happy to do it. But it is not easy. It’s more give than take and I need other gamers in relationships to back me up. Nobody other than gamers take games seriously. If a stock broker tells you they are busy, you let them work. But when a gamer tells their partner the same they just don’t listen. I’m interrupted all the time.
Let me explain without malice what I endure.
I’ve politely requested that my field of vision NOT be obscured when I’m playing a game. This is a small rule but is always broken. No matter the reason, if she wants to invade my personal space nothing stops her in spite of the worst time to do it is when the twin sticks are in my hand. I have explained how much I hate it and now I put on a screwface and lean away annoyed but she still does it.
I used to play games with headphones on which I explained was a huge signal to leave me alone. I don’t do that anymore. Here’s why. She just walks up and starts talking to me oblivious to the fact I can’t even hear her. And then I started hearing “I already told you blah blah blah…” It took me a minute to figure out she would tell me this stuff while my headphones were on. So now I play games without them for her… Problem solved.
Or is it? Just the other week my girlfriend who is an actual real actor in the biz, was running lines next to me. By running lines I mean reading them obnoxiously too loud thinking she’s cute when all she is accomplishing is pissing me off. So I try to politely interject to tell her to tone it down I can’t concentrate or hear what’s going on. She doesn’t even listen. She does what she always does and.tunes me right out and starts talking LOUDER! So now she can’t even hear how aggravated she is making me because she WON’T SHUT UP long enough to hear what I’m saying. She was keen to not only ignore but talk over somebody communicating distress.
And this is minor petty stuff because I don’t want to get too deep into it. I have rational ethical issues with some of the choices she makes but I shut up and let her do her thing because well . . Do unto others.
After hearing similar (and worse) stories I decided I had to say to my gaming friends and fans who are in relationships; You are not alone!
I don’t know how my relationship works. I don’t know how her and I exist when she drives me nuts sometimes. The bastion of hope I cling to is simply she does not understand the conviction and dedication I have towards not just gaming but to the community too. There is nothing I would rather do than entertain/enlighten you readers and viewers. I don’t care who’s birthday I have to miss to reach a deadline. I don’t care how much time I have to put into editing or filming because I live to entertain. This is my passion in life and I’m lucky enough to be able to fuse entertaining and video games.
But let me flip it because here is my point. Chances are you are not like me. You don’t game as often or even have the time to. You aren’t trying to entertain anybody through games. At worst your partner interferes with a gaming session which let’s be honest is remedied by a pause button. Imagine if it was your passion or career. Imagine how irate you would be. My point; if I can make this headache work and be happy at the same time then you as a simple gamer just aren’t working hard enough. So shut this webpage and tell your partner you love them and spend time with him/her.
Street Prophet aka The Jaded Gamer
@IamFN2K on Twitter