Assassin’s Creed goes Rogue!

Disclaimer: I’ve picked a side. This is not an advertisement for Assassin’s Creed Rogue, this is not a sponsored post. I am not here to convince you to avoid this game at all. I assume you’re here because you like games and at least want to like this one.  Anybody who already doesn’t like a game, doesn’t care about it, doesn’t support it and still looks up news and blogs about it… is an asshole.  I’m not really into Titanfall.  You don’t see me in the comment section… “GAWD! This game sux! Play CoD Blops already. Geeez!” *Racial expletives aplenty* OH! And all the screenshots below are from the Playstation 3 version and are added for aesthetic purposes.  I am getting my copy March 20th like everybody else.


Secret best Assassin’s Creed game… ev-er!

This is not some wishy-washy second look or some silly “how to know if this game is right for me?” nonsense.  That high level journalism is left to the pros.  I don’t have that kind of time.  Let me knock this out for you.

If you’ve played it.  Play it again.  The campaign is brutally short and you are left with a seriously stupid amount of side activities.  Seriously. A stupid amount. Depending on how you look at it. Aside from the main campaign you have, naval stuff like battling warships, liberating prisoners, looting abandoned ships, looting royal ships and other pirates plus a whole hunting crafting system to keep you occupied on top of upgrading your ship.  On land you have a various assortment of forts to take over, villages to liberate and assassinations to intercept.  Not to mention you can renovate places and take in games at a bar.

There are also several collectibles as well as a naval management system that allows you to send your fleet out to trade for more supplies as you go on doing your anti-assassin business.

Did you like Assassin’s Creed 4? This is like a really big expansion pack that encompasses an era of Assassin history with several familiar faces that span from Assassins Creed 3 to Freedom Cry to Assassin’s Creed 4 and manages to dip its fingers into Unity.  The campaign, as I pointed out, is short but it flips the whole Assassin’s Creed mythology and flips it on its face and asks “Who are the good guys, really?”  However, Templars are scum. We all know this. The game does a great job at painting a member of the enemy’s tribe as a hero, which is definitely how a dirty filthy rotten scoundrel would think. I kid… The protagonist is quite likable and you do root for him from time to time. Rogue does a great job of highlighting the flaws in the Brotherhood of Assassins and showing how they can turn allies into enemies who will stop at absolutely nothing for revenge.

It is actually great to see the decline of the Brotherhood which sets up the climate of their decay in Assassin’s Creed 3 and helps sew the seeds of their role in the French Revolution in Unity.  The whole AC Universe is quite interesting in this era because Shay (the protagonist) Forrest Gumps his way through various timelines.

In conclusion, this was probably the better Assassin’s Creed game that came out in 2014 but only because it tried nothing new and stuck to the solid formula that Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag established.  This is AC4 with a brunette wig on it and a dash of Luck of The Irish.

So… If you’ve never played this entry in the series. Play this game.
If Unity let you down. Play this game.
If you hated AC4: This one is better. Play it.
If you wanted more naval combat in Thr–PLAY THIS!

There’s no excuse… if all you have a PS3 or 360, check your local bargain bin. Anybody wanting the version with a fresh coat of paint, it comes out tomorrow for your PS4 and Xbox One.


Carlos Sharkfist A.K.A The Jaded Gamer

Twitter: @IamFN2K
PSN/Xbox Live: IamFN2K


Metal Gear Survivor impression

The Jaded Gamer

Mehtal Gear

This game released to mixed reviews. It’s not like this game is top tier amazing but I cannot say it is a bad game.  The problem is… I played this game the wrong way for a while. However, after plugging about 10-20 hours into it, I think I can give some impressions.  Apparently… 10-20 hours is more than enough time to get through the plot.  Like I said, I’m playing this game the wrong way.

See… I heard a crazy rumor that it was a survival game… and it is… for single-player sadists. I thought… like in most survival games, I thought they would drop me into a world and I could just fool around with the “story” just being breadcrumbs to give me some sort of arc.  I also thought the structures you place in the open world would stay put after I leave and they…

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More like the IMpatient.

*SPOYLARZ* (Maybe not. I dunno. I’m just covering my ass. You might be a Thinskin.)

I didn’t like this game.  I thought about it and despite it starting off with such promise, the middle and ending(s) are garbage.

In the beginning…

It starts off very well.  The general pacing is great.  We are introduced to characters gradually and shown the controls of the game while getting a tour of the hospital leading up to our room.  You can also pick your own gender and skin color but, I’m not exactly sure how much of a difference it makes overall.


Once you arrive in your room… get ready to stay there.  Oh you’ll walk around really slowly in a dream-state but you will not actually spend any time outside of your cell for a while.  . . Hang on.  I am so bored. Writing about this game is boring.  Anyways…

You have a cellmate named…. Dick? Richard? Gordon? Steve? Jeff?… Let’s go with Doug.  So Doug seems fine but slowly starts becoming unhinged.  Your interactions with him determine …. something something….

The Inpatient_20180118222515

Look… I’ll level with you.  Your first two runs of the game might feel like something decent happened but upon further inspection, you will notice the Emperor is naked and that your shoelace isn’t untied because you’re wearing Loafers.  I don’t know what I’m saying… I’m trying to fill time.

I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that you’ll run through the game once and do it again hoping for something decent but you’ll be left with “That’s it?”  You’ll have spent more time walking around (in slow motion) hoping something will happen than you will walking in slow motion with something happening.

This is a horror game where very little horrific things actually take place.  The scariest parts are all dream sequences without any way to fail.  There’s one encounter with one of those evil spirits but that’s as intense as it gets.


The choices are arbitrary and carry very little emotional weight.  Characters live or die without much rhyme or reason so don’t overthink your choices.  That’s all this game really is… exposition and walking slowly through an environment that would be scary if there was any threat at all.

There is no combat, moving is purely to change the scenery.  You’re hunting dialog and listening to NPCs talk the whole time.  This isn’t so much a game as it is an interactive movie.  Even as an interactive movie.. there are chunks missing.  I was locked up, now I’m not, now I’m free…. there is no resistance in any of these steps.  The scares didn’t come from fear.  If you drop a baking sheet in the dark, you might be a little startled but that in itself isn’t going to kill you.

I should say something nice. The game starts with a lot of promise and interacting with the scenery is fun until you realize nothing much is going to happen.  It’s mostly choose your own adventure with very little actual game mechanics other than looking for objects to trigger your memory.


I have to say skip it until it reaches $10-$15 … Re-brand it as a PSVR Experience or something.  Take the emphasis off it being a “horror game”.

I’m sorry if anybody is disappointed.  I normally don’t like to crap on games.  I really don’t.  But I really don’t care about The Inpatient.  My ADD took over and my eyes glazed over several times even writing this.  I strongly suggest you wait until the price drops significantly if not skip it entirely.

The Jaded Gamer


Hellblade on a Gloomy Monday is Perfect

I had heard so much about Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice.   I finally caved and bought it on Saturday.  I played it for about an hour and was sucked in immediately.

There might be spoilers and I’m not wearing a condom.

I should’ve been writing and doing things for websites, recording podcasts or something to that effect.  But no.  There I was… playing Hellblade… taking breaks to accomplish tasks and then going right back.  I’m close to the end.

Anyways, here it is… Monday and I have nothing to show for anything because of that game.  Here’s why:

I talk to myself. Occasionally out loud but mostly in my head.  It helps me think. Sometimes it is even healthy for me to say something out loud and see how it sounds.  When I play video games I will talk to myself about the game. Hellblade shut me up immediately.   I usually take a whole bunch of screenshots when I play video games but during the entire intro sequence and all the way up to the first boss challenge I sat there silent, arguing with the in-game voices.

Yeah, you heard me.

The voices are pretty consistent throughout the game but are very aggressive during the early stages of it.  I was prepared for them to some degree by reviews and impressions that I’ve read but I really wish there was some indication to how constant they would be.  Adding to the pressure is the fact that each death or failure allows the darkness to consume Senua more and more leading to her mind. The darkness is up to her shoulder now.  I was trying to keep it below her elbow.

So, About those voices… The game is best played with headphones.  Not wearing headphones with these is like eating melted ice cream or a cold hamburger.  The headphones are which make the whole experience worth it.  You have to hear what the voices are saying so you can decide what you want to listen to or what you want to try to ignore.  They constantly comment on and question what Senua (by proxy you) is doing when more often than not, she seems to be doing the right thing or going the right way.  But there are times where she is doing the incorrect thing or going the wrong way and the voices are trying to steer her on the right path.

Sometimes the voices discourage progress or advise you to give up your quest because you are too weak to accomplish it.  But dig down deep, find a way to prevail under pressure and you find that the same voices that antagonize you and try to get you to turn around will tell you that you are strong and can handle the fight.  It is bizarre.  I’ve taken the approach of simply trying to block them out.

The combat is simple, a heavy, light and melee attack with an evade and block button for defensive measures.  The voices will help you in battle by letting you know when other enemies are about to attack you out of camera frame and how close to the end of the fight you are.  Each enemy type has a way to be attacked and defended against so nothing (so far) has been overwhelmingly difficult the first time I faced it.  Though some battles go on just long enough to make you think you have no chance of winning.  Those are my favorite battles to win.

One thing to point out about the combat, you have no indication of how much damage is being done to you other than screen filters and Senua’s speed.  Senua can heal from near-death but it requires near-flawless fighting. When Senua is injured her attacks will slow down significantly and even the voices may comment on her being injured.

Finally, the visuals are excellent. These are the only screenshots I actually took because I was reminded of the great detail.

The game is pretty.

The level design is excellent because it is simple enough to get though but has enough nooks in each level that you could get lost so even though the game travels in more or less a straight line, there are enough forks and dead ends to make things interesting.

I’m just eager to finish this thing off so … gotta go.


Justin Bieber beats Hitler in a fistfight – But it was close.

The Jaded Gamer

Depending on who you ask, Justin Bieber is either a mischievous heartthrob singer or a vile douchebag no matter what he does.   His voice can pump you up, soothe your soul or reacquaint you with the lunch you had earlier.  Hello, ham sandwich.  But I digress…

Bieber has done a lot recently to clean up his image.  He yearns to go back to the days of innocence and wholesomeness. However, the move has done absolutely nothing to dissuade his haters. He gathered the media in the lobby of his 10.8 Million dollar Los Angeles Mansion to speak on this recently;

“It really stinks, yanno.  I did my hardest to clean up my image, you know what I’m sayin, I’m reborn. Know what I’m sayin’? Big ups to J-Star who died for our sins.  I ask myself every day ‘What Would J-Unit Do?’ and he told me to do what he…

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